Lost in Translation

Something’s been bugging me for a while

Do people truly know how to talk to one another?

I mean in essence, yes. We can communicate as we know the same language, gestures, signs, etc., that’s a given. Even if we don’t, we have apps or interpreters who can understand and can effectively convey what one person is saying to who another person. Still to this day that is truly a remarkable achievement; information, stories, tales, all the sorts being told from one language, and understood in an entirely different language is absolutely amazing. I mean, try understanding this real quick without translating:

“मैंने गलती से अपना फ़ोन तूफ़ान नाले में गिरा दिया”

“Lyklarnir eru undir mottunni heima hjá mér”

“祝你今天过得愉快”

Now try using a translator.

See what I mean? If a billionaire were to look at me dead in the eyes and say “for a million dollars, decipher one of those texts”, immediately I’m going straight to google translate or some translation app. Granted, this isn’t as good as learning the language, but this has to be the next best thing that’s available to practically everyone in the world.

So if you’re reading this, you’re probably fluent, or at least fluent enough in English. Hell, maybe you don’t even know what I’m saying and using an online translation app to get an idea of it. Sometimes though, we have difficulties talking and getting our points and information across to one another, which begs the question:

So how come in some situations, it feels almost impossible to talk to one another even though we’re fluent in the same language?

There are a lot of things that I feel get lost in translation when talking to one another- most of which is due to some internal or external factors. While a lot of them can are easy to resolve like simple misunderstandings or bad wordings, the main points I want to talk about are:

Letting our emotions get the better of us in the heat of the moment
Past situations or trauma will immediately rebuke what is being told to us
The sweet sweet taste of ignorance and/or indulging in hierarchical status

Whatever it may be is a stand alone reason, or a concoction of the sorts, something at sometime may inhibit our ability of understanding and communication with one another. This isn’t in the lens of having a disagreement with “insert thing”, but having a straight up heated and/or meaningless arguments could yield in just as much, if not more damage than if you both were to just stay silent.

So how do I know when I’m in the “Lost in Translation” situation?

If possible, genuinely ask the individual/group what they’ve understood about what you said. Let me provide a scenario:

Context:

Two coworkers, John and Emily, are preparing a presentation about a project plan. They both had a meeting earlier where Emily explained a lot of key points that John was supposed to include in the slides. Emily also gave several reasons why they should delay launching the new online game for the company, but Jordan doesn’t seem to remember or acknowledge those points. Some things have happened, and now they’re reviewing the progress.

Emily: I just looked through the slides and it doesn’t seem that you included most of the main points I mentioned this last week and this morning. Where are they?

John: What do you mean? I thought I covered everything important. I added in the importance of customer feedback, the map layout, where players will spawn, all of that.

Emily: Good God, this is exactly what I imagined would happen. I gave you reason after reason on why rushing this was a bad idea. You weren’t listening and now we’re stuck here.

John: No, you didn’t give me any real reasons- just that you feel it’s too soon.

Emily: Really now? Okay, fine. Can you name me three of the points that I told you?

John: Ok… you said something about the servers? How… they’re not really ready for full load testing yet?

Emily: No duh, that was a side note, John. The main issues that the investors literally asked us to address were quality control, marketing prep, and addressing customer feedback. You mean to tell me that you got only 1 of the 3 main things they asked for?

John: Oooooh…

Emily: Exactly. That’s why I said we weren’t ready and we should’ve taken their offer of having another month to work on our proposal. It’s not just about the servers, it’s about the whole launch. Now, it’s due tomorrow and we have to work all night with a hope and a prayer.

Granted, this may not apply to all situations, but if you feel/have proof of solid points you made with valid reasons and evidence, haven’t made alarming unintentional contradictions in your explanations, kept the conversation level headed, and/or can clearly see that the person whom you’re talking to isn’t interested or has not recalled a single thing you said, you’re definitely in the “LIT” (Lost in Translation) scenario.

But I want to go back and tackle some of the reasons as to why we may and/or other’s put us in this “LIT”:

Mind you, this is simply what I’m thinking and feeling. I’m completely open to disagreements and/or insight as I’m not a licensed psychologist, social worker, or whatever…

Emotions:

“We let our emotions get the better of us in the heat of the moment“

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling a certain way depending on what you’re talking about. If you’re talking about something to someone who you’re trying to help, you may feel pity, compassionate, or even frustrated if you’ve repeatedly said the same things to them time and time again, so feelings like these make you feel more connected with… well… what you’re talking about. However, it most certainly can be a double-edged sword, especially if you can’t control them as well or in that instance.

Being in the “heat of the moment”, “saying something I didn’t mean to say”, “pent up feelings” are direct results of this. Sometimes, you or the other person said/did something that really set the fuse off, and then all hell broke loose. The more complex the problem is, the bigger the explosion can get, and in some cases there is not much to be recovered once the dust settles.

Reflexes of the Heart

“Past situations or trauma will immediately rebuke what is being told to us”

I feel like the 2nd point would be better explained through a short scenario.

It’s the first exam of that dreaded calc class, and the classroom hums with a mixture of nervous and tension. Your friend flips through their notebook completely calm, curious, and unaware- while you sit like a solider before battle.

They’ve aced this class in high school, you’ve failed the class twice since the start of college.

They barely struggled at all in the first lecture; yours was chaotic.

They didn’t even study for the second quiz; your second quiz results left you with despair.

Now it’s your only shot of redemption- you need to score big on this exam. However, you know exactly what’s coming, and that’s the problem.

Your friend notices your terror. “What’s going on?” they ask, but would they even get it if you told them? Even if you told them everything, laid it all out, would they really understand? Would they react differently, to even think less of and judge you? Probably not. You’ve lived through this before- they haven’t.

Through this, I hope you understand what this is alluding to.

Dessert Before Depth:

“The sweet sweet taste of ignorance and/or indulging in hierarchical status”

“My way, or the highway”

“You don’t know any better. I’ve seen it all before”

“I’ve been doing this longer than you have. You’ll understand once you get there.”

“My experience is the absolute truth. That’s not how it works”

“You’re not experienced enough to give good advice”

I’ve done this for so long, and I know more than you. Therefore, you should listen to me and only me, and I don’t care for your input “

When someone is close-minded in a conversation, it’s one of the quickest ways to create a LIT situation. This dogmatism, authoritarian attitude immediately shuts down any potential for effective communication been them and the parties involved. It becomes harder for either side to understand (or translate) what the other is trying to express.

Those on the receiving end of this intellectual arrogance often surrender any attempt at having a genuine conversation. The thought of having to peel back layer after layer of someone’s epistemic stubbornness just to get a single point across sounds feels utterly exhausting, and frankly, like a waste of time.

So What’s the Point of This…?

The main purpose of this blog post is for us to understand how to have effective communication. I most certainly need to work on this, as I’ve been writing this post off and on for roughly a month now still trying to understand and piece together what I want to say, and how I want to say it.

Nevertheless, everyone wants to be heard, and everyone wants to be understood. Taking the time to be more effective at communicating is what gets the signal through the noise.

Sincerely,

Cravings and Comfort